A Beautiful Sadness
I hate breakups, I do. I don’t even have to be involved in them but I hate watching them happen. I don’t like to see two people who thought they loved each other or who still do have to part, I don’t like seeing someone still love the other but its only a one-way love, I don’t like seeing people get hurt.
This world is one hell of a world, it’s dark and terrifying and it can easily corrupt someone. We’ve probably all seen someone get swallowed up by this world, either through a suicide or an accidental drug overdose, sometimes it intentional and sometimes it isn’t, but this world isn’t a pretty one.
We reach out to people, we try and connect with one another on various levels, we’ve got acquaintances, friendships, relationships, and lovers. We try to connect with other people so we realize that we aren’t the only ones afraid and that we all have problems and that we all have fears and we all have insecurities.
This past year I connected with someone who will always be special and important to me. She was a girl who saw the magic in life. One would be quick to call it a childish naiveity, a fairytale, but she didn’t let that stop her. The two of us skipped the friendship stage and went right into the lover stage.
I poured my heart and soul into this girl, I told her everything that I was afraid of, I told her everything that made me happy, and I told her everything that makes me who I am. I gave myself up to this girl, I let her take my innocence and do with it as she pleased and dear lord, she was so gentle and caring.
Unfortunately people in this world change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst. Things changed between her and I and she wasn’t happy anymore, she didn’t know why and still doesn’t but there wasn’t any magic between the two of us, there wasn’t any joy.
If you love someone you’ve got to let them go and let them do what makes them happy. You don’t want to go back to being alone in the world but remember all the good memories you’ve had with them, remember all the times they made you laugh or smile, remember how safe you felt with them.
I know that this girl and I will always share a connection, a part of my heart will always long for her, always. We had to let each other go last night however, and that was hard.
Like Butters from South Park said, it’s a beautiful sadness. I feel empty and alone right now but for me to now feel that means that once I was incredibly happy and filled with glee. I have to remember that even though everything looks like absolute shit right now that I can’t give up and that I’ve got to stay strong.
You can’t let the world take you, you have to rise above it all and move on.
I’ll be doing my best to move on.
We started it with a kiss and we ended it with a kiss, if that isn’t magic then I don’t know what is.